Defiant or Unsafe? 5 Ways You Can Tell—and What You Can Do About It

If “No!” is your child’s first response—or if a student’s day spirals into restraints or shutdown—there’s almost always a safety story hiding beneath the behaviour.  

​​​​​​​This practical session helps you read that story quickly and respond in ways that calm the nervous system instead of escalating the fight.

You’ll leave knowing how to …

  • Spot five early cues that a child feels unsafe (posture, tone, avoidance, control-seeking, shutdown)

  • Use the “stance of safety”—thumbs visible, chin-tilt right, head-tilt left—to lower anxiety on sight.

  • Create micro “caves” (hoodies, under-desk corners, weighted plushies) that replace the need for holds.

  • Shift screen-time transitions with a 12-minute rule and an oxytocin-boosting hand-over-hand routine.

  • Run a one-minute smell-and-touch reset on yourself first—then guide the child through it.

  • Kim Pomares

    Presenter

  • Claudie Pomares

    Presenter

  • Bethany Bilodeau

    Presenter

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